All of us have a mental picture of who we are, what we look like, what things we may be good or not so good at. We get this mental image of ourselves built over time and experiences, from social interactions, relationships, events and others. Our mental image of ourselves contributes to our feeling of self-esteem and self-worth.
Being told and shown that you’re loved as a child helps you to accept love later in life. Being told you’re bone idle by the swimming teacher when you stop 3 metres from the end of the 25 metre certificate can make you feel that you always want to give up before the end. None of these events happen in isolation and our memories can play tricks with us, however, how we interpret these events and how we let them dictate our behaviour today is important.
People with a healthy level of self-esteem can feel good about themselves, appreciate themselves as individuals, take pride in their achievements and skills, and importantly benefit from making mistakes. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can’t do well in anything. Unfortunately the old adage can often manifest itself here “if you think that the worst will happen, then it probably will”.
Most people experience problems with self-esteem at certain times through our lives — this is especially common during our teens when we’re figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone’s self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your self-esteem isn’t all it could be, you can improve it.
Our therapy approach provides positive, proactive tools and techniques that will help you control your “internal mental chatter” and improve your self-esteem in a way that is real and beneficial to you.
NB We will do our utmost to avoid improving your self-esteem to levels that make you an arrogant, ego centred, over confident individual…people with these traits generally use it as a mask for their own insecurities and self-image concerns anyway.